One hour a week, for one year, will change a life.

This is the favourite phrase of Big Brothers Big Sisters.

The organisation matches young people to a role model and mentor from the community.

An hour a week makes a difference to a child’s confidence and assists with making better life choices, Big Brothers Big Sisters Manawatū manager Dean Chapman says. It’s the reliability and consistency that counts.

The average age of mentees, also known as littles, is 12, with the programme helping those aged 7 to 17.

The reasons for joining vary – “whether Dad’s out of the picture or, heaven forbid, Mum’s passed away” – and they receive referrals from a number of areas.

“We work closely with the police and community constables. We can take referrals from various social services … but most are self-referrals or they’re identified by the school,” Chapman says.

There are 41 matches on Manawatū’s books, with another four almost ready to go.

The pairs may be community-based, spending afternoons or weekends together with some choosing parks, making crafts at venues like Splatter or using the library’s Makerspace.

Alternatively, they are school-based, with the mentor catching up with the child at school.

Regular time together is the most important factor, Chapman says. While they initially ask for a commitment of one year, in most cases the connection continues for much longer.

The mentors, or bigs, vary in age and stage of life. Some are students studying at Massey University or UCOL Te Pūkenga, others are retired.

“Recruitment is really important. We have to make sure we get that right,” Chapman says.

He outlines the application process of “talking about yourself, what you’ve been through and what your interests are”, followed by a police check and training.

Mckenzie Anderson is a mentoring co-ordinator and mentor with Big Brothers Big Sisters Manawatū.
Photo / Sonya Holm

Ongoing support is provided by mentoring co-ordinators, like Mckenzie Anderson, who are all qualified social workers.

Anderson is also a mentor, which she says gives her good insight into “what’s going on for a lot of our kids” and remembers “how hard being 14 was”.

However, she says the benefits are spread evenly across mentors and mentees.

“It’s been pretty special to be able to be part of other people’s journey … I’d just moved [here] so having a big community of people was really cool.”

This sentiment is echoed by Cayla Mcfadden, 20, and Emileigh Ward, 14, who have been big and little sisters for a year and a half.

They spend time making crafts, baking, going for walks at Victoria Esplanade and eating icecream.

Emileigh enjoys the friendship and Mcfadden agrees.

“I just love hanging out with Emileigh, it’s lots of fun … I’m mentoring Emileigh but there’s a lot I get out of it as well. And seeing someone grow up … seeing Emileigh grow and flourish.”

There is a shortage of male mentors and funding is an ongoing issue for the non-profit organisation, which has traditionally been funded by grants.

Chapman says the funding pool hasn’t changed, but the need for the service has increased, as has the number of community groups seeking funds.

“The amount of money that we get back is getting lower and lower.”

However, they have been fortunate Booth’s Logistics has come on board as Big Brothers Big Sisters Manawatū's first corporate sponsor.

“And that’s something we’ll be looking at further, is how can we get community-minded businesses in our community to support the work that we do,” Chapman says.

Moving from Wesley Broadway Methodist Church, which was demolished two years ago, to Queen St has produced mixed results for Agape Fellowship.

The Palmerston North group with a 35-year history - some members have been coming since the start - Agape supports different abilities.

“I think our philosophy is basically everybody here may have a disability but that shouldn’t define who they are,” former co-ordinator and trust board administrator Craig McDonald says.

Members support each other, said McDonald, and many of the activities such as swimming, walking, crafts and music are about “feeling part of the community”.

Sandra Sankey found friendship at Agape. “I met my best friend here and we’ve been best friends for about 10 or 11 years. We do everything together. And we’re both 70.″

Sophie Cochrane says Agape is a good support place for everyone.

“I enjoy it personally because it keeps me out of trouble. Otherwise, If I’m at home doing nothing I get myself into mischief like going on Facebook.”

Stephen Russell has been coming for about 30 years, initially as a member and then support worker, which became his first long-term job.

Long-serving staff member McDonald, a former clinical psychologist at Lake Alice and senior lecturer in social work, has spent more than 30 years with Agape.

Described by member Maree Russell as working miracles, “we’re lucky to have this man”, McDonald recently passed the baton of coordinator to Angela Benyon, in an attempt to work fewer than 50 hours a week.

A group art collaboration hanging on the wall at Agape Fellowship featuring one of its members. Photo / Sonya Holm

The longevity of the group also presents some difficulties, with older age and health issues necessitating the need for new members for its board of trustees.

Funding is also an issue. “We’re very short of funding and we get about half our funding from the Ministry of Social Development. And the rest I have to find,” McDonald says.

They have tried to get health funding, but failed because they are not dedicated to a specific disability.

“We’re about not defining people by their disability but their strengths and talents. So that makes it hard to get funding, because if we were just a single disability [we could specify] what remediation.”

A move to the new premises – while spacious and dedicated to their activities – has meant paying commercial rent.

The location has pros and cons; it is central but on the periphery of town, and they’ve lost the casual connection of church members popping in.

One high-profile person is on their street though: Palmerston North MP Tangi Utikere.

“He always stops and waves, he knows who we are, he gives us a wave as he wanders off for a meeting.”

However, proximity to a pub “with all sorts of fights” has meant the end of their Friday night movies and Saturday evening games nights.

They also previously had a kitchen, providing members the opportunity to learn how to cook, cater for the annual three-course men’s dinner for the church, and share cooked lunches.

To top it off, the back room that holds their games and books recently flooded when rainwater flowed from the street into a sump in the back car shed.

Having recently relaid the carpet with new underfelt, they’re looking to get some shelving.

However, for a group whose name is Greek for unconditional love, the changes in venue and various obstacles cannot stop their collective heart and charisma.

Pohiri Peipi-Scott has been a member for about 16 years and says Agape and her family have “helped me to find my voice”.

“I try and involve myself anywhere and everywhere that I can be a part of the community. The ones that can, should. The only person that really stops you is you.”

It’s all in the name for Supporting Families in Mental Illness Manawatū.

“We’re probably one of the few services that our client is the family, not the person with the illness,” manager Christine Zander-Campbell says.

Initially the Schizophrenia Fellowship, Supporting Families has been running for 45 years. It has offices in Palmerston North, Levin and Dannevirke providing support to families affected by mental health and addiction.

In the past financial year the organsiation helped 900 families.

Psychotic behaviour, suicidality, or a recent diagnosis can lead people to their door.

“They’re exhausted quite often when they come to us. They’re in that exhaustion crisis mode,” Zander-Campbell says.

“We work with whatever that’s on top for them at the time. It could be getting services. It could be looking at some strategies for themselves to stay well.”

Sometimes it is about how to access mental health services and talking through the options, from GP referrals to crisis response.

“I’d say about 80 per cent of people that have ongoing mental illness quite often have a drug or addiction issue.”

Another issue “more common than not” is supporting families through a system designed to protect the individual rights and privacy of those aged 16 and over, with families often left out of the loop.

“It’s a double-edged sword in that space because whānau are the ones that are actually picking up the pieces or getting them into services.

“Families just want to know what the hell’s going on. What are these pills they’re taking?” she says.

Sometimes, families need advice on the Mental Health (Compulsory Assessment and Treatment) Act.

The Supporting Families service offers support to whānau over the phone and in person. It runs a 10-week programme for anxiety and depression.

It also offers programmes supporting children who have family members with mental illness or, increasingly, have anxiety themselves.

Zander-Campbell says Covid, wild weather and wars are all factors increasing anxiety in children. She warns the impact of social media “could be getting close to the next epidemic”.

Supporting Families runs an eight-week programme in schools and the community.

“I was contacted by a school to do next term and they’ve got a wait-list for it already.”

Zander-Campbell is looking forward to the new mental health ward at Palmerston North Hospital, expected to be completed in 2025, and was involved in supporting the design.

“It’s got to be 100 per cent better than what the ward is at the present moment.”

Supporting Families in Mental Illness staff Crystal Taituha (left), Sharon Gutry, Kim Mckelvey, Kate Philips,
and Christine Zander-Campbell. Photo / Sonya Holm

Staff at Supporting Families have expertise in a range of areas covering psychology, occupational therapy, counselling and nursing.

Zander-Campbell has been working in the area for 26 years and has done plenty of relevant study. “But actually, it’s about learning from the people themselves and listening.”

It can start with an expectation of fairness.

Wearing ‘lucky socks’. Praying. Kissing the machine. Thinking ‘it must be my turn to win’.

There’s an expectation that everything’s fair and everyone gets an equal chance, Bonnie Lovich-Howitt says, but the reality of life doesn’t mimic that.

She is the practice leader for the MidCentral region at PGF Services.

It started as the Compulsive Gambling Society close to 30 years ago, and from there became the Problem Gambling Foundation.

Now it is simply PGF Services, to “take the ‘problem’ out of the name to try to help reduce the stigma and shame that people feel around their gambling”, Lovich-Howitt says.

People spend more money than anticipated because there is a jackpot. Photo / Andrew Warner

Gambling is a billion-dollar industry, she says, with the financial statistics covering Lotto, pokie machines and the TAB, but not overseas-owned online gambling sites.

Not everyone who gambles has a problem, and social gambling can do minimal to no harm if it’s sporadic and there’s a budget, she says.

It becomes a problem – even an addiction – for different reasons.

People spend more money than anticipated because there is a jackpot: “I’ll just borrow that $100 from the power bill over here, because the jackpot’s about to go off.”

This can become a cycle, leading to debt and “chasing the loss” because they’ve already lost money and they’re trying to get it back.

For others, it’s about repeating the cycle of gambling in their families, and even grieving for a lost relative they used to go with to the races or TAB.

“They keep going back there because that’s where they feel close to them.”

PGF Services offers a range of support for people who want to reduce their spending or take a break from gambling.

One option is self-exclusion - to ban yourself from gambling venues – making it the venue’s equal responsibility for the person not to be gambling.

You can’t cash out of a self-ban, so forfeit all your money.

Others want different ways of managing their money, so they might give a loved one access to their accounts to see how they’re spending their money.

In addition to counselling, PGF Services talks to businesses about developing workplace policies, and to councils, banks and other organisations about problem gambling.

One person experiencing harm from gambling will affect five to 10 people.

“We hold hope for every single person that walks in the door, and we believe that every single person can make a change in their life,” Lovich-Howitt says.